Don’t forget the critiquing guidelines. All you have to do is post a comment about the submission below. Don’t feel like you have to critique the whole piece. Even a short comment on one aspect can be helpful.
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We have a short excerpt today. Let’s do it!
A Monster Saved – by Alahna
The traveler wiped the sweat from his brow and looked up the steep trail, searching. As he gazed around, he spotted a dark fissure in the side of the mountain above him. He nodded and continued his climb toward the scar in the earth. The man pulled himself up onto a ledge and peered into the cave he had mistaken for a crack. “Hello,” he called, his voice echoing in the deep recesses of the cavern. No sound reached him. He shrugged out of his pack and the traveler removed and unwrapped an old lantern and lit it, the faint glow barely visible in the bright sunlight. Slinging his bag back onto his back, the man proceeded into the cave. Barely across the threshold, he was struck by the strong, foul smell of mold and rotting flesh. The traveler quickly removed a handkerchief from his pocket and tied it around his mouth and nose, trying to filter out the stench.
As he inched deeper into the cavern, he recognized the remains of many creatures littering the floor; large cracked deer bones, a bloody plucked wing, and the dark sticky stains of so much blood. Suddenly, a loud crunch sounded from under his foot. The traveler carefully lifted his boot and gazed into the empty eyes of a human skull, the jaw shattered under his toes. Taking a deep slow breath, the man stepped carefully around the marble remains and continued forward.
Categories: Critique Group